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National Association of Black Accountants Asserts That Table
Manners, Dining Etiquette are Imperative to Business Success
Etiquette Guru Harriette Cole's "rules of engagement" prove
invaluable for every student and young professional
NABA Interim Deputy Executive Director Challenge M. Okiwe
presents Harriette Cole with an award to thank her
for serving as the hostess of the organization's Professional
Etiquette Luncheon.
Greenbelt, MD (BlackNews.com) - The National Association of Black
Accountants, Inc. (NABA) invited Harriette Cole, renown
author, columnist, consultant, hostess, life coach and president and
creative director of New York, N.Y.-based Harriette Cole
Productions, to speak at its Professional Etiquette Luncheon during
the organization's 35th Annual Convention. NABA recognized that
increasingly, interviews are not simply confined to offices or
boardrooms, and the organization felt it was essential that rising
college seniors, recent graduates and young professionals take heed
to the importance of good table etiquette.
As students return to school to plan career paths,
and new graduates get acclimated to the working world, the
knowledge, tips and tricks Cole shared-which she dubbed "the rules
of engagement"-should prove invaluable. Among her pointers:
- Don't come hungry. Yes, the event may be billed as a
luncheon or dinner, but your job is to present yourself as a viable
candidate, bond with your co-workers and/or sell yourself, in
general, so eating is not your priority. "Everything you do-or don't
do-is noticed," Cole stated, speaking to a packed room of close to
500 students and professionals who hung on her every word. "You have
to pay attention to detail: The people who lead and succeed in
business, and in life, pay attention to every detail, from head to
toe, and you may be talking more than others who are at the table."
Cole added that it's not a "good look" for rising stars, junior
associates or prospective employees to be shoveling food in their
mouth or talking with their mouth's full. She also said to avoid
foods such as spaghetti, fried chicken or overly juicy foods and opt
for menu items that are solid and do not require a lot of
maneuvering to get from your plate to your mouth.
- Remember your posture and purpose. Sometimes, the rules
of engagement are just as simple as the old adages we get from our
parents: Sit up straight ("It shows your full strength, your
presence, and practically, it allows the food to move through your
body," Cole said.) and be courteous. Avoiding negative comments
about the food, passing saucers so the handles face the person who
requested them, filling someone's water glass rather than passing
them the pitcher and discreetly telling when someone-even the boss
or interviewer-has something in his or her teeth are all signs that
you are a team player who wants the whole unit to do well and is
willing to help when you can.
- Avoid excesses. Whether it's a pile of sugar packets by
your saucer, a plate with meat, potatoes, bread and no veggies, your
potential employer might determine that you have a binge
personality, or even make inferences about your work style based on
what you choose to eat (or not eat). Cole surmised that if you seem
to make reckless or thoughtless decisions when determining what goes
in your body, an employer might see you as a binger, or unbalanced
in your decision-making; so, no more than two sugar packets per
drink, and if you're at a buffet, by chance, make sure your plate
reflects a good, healthy balance of the available options. And it's
always okay to skip bread or desserts!
- Just say no! It is best to avoid drinking any alcohol
during a work event...just because the wine is on the table doesn't
mean you have to drink it! If you do have a drink-of your own
volition or at the explicit, pointed invitation of the host-do not
exceed one serving, Cole advised.
- Choose your words carefully. A business dining experience
is not the place to talk about your deep family history, food
allergies, political leanings or controversial current events. You
should never start a conversation about these kinds of topics-and
other potentially volatile conversation points such as race, class
or religion-but if a dining companion asks you an direct question
that deals with one such topic (i.e. Are you a Democrat or a
Republican, or What do you think of our President?), you must find a
creative way to answer the question without revealing too much about
yourself or making the person who asked feel stupid. In extreme
circumstances, Cole said you can demure your discomfort or refusal
to answer such questions, so long as you are gracious and tactful.
- Practice good e-etiquette. Cell phones and electronic
devices should be silent or turned off. "Vibrate isn't good enough:
Vibration makes noise, and you do not want to do anything to draw
unwarranted attention to yourself." If you are expecting a call that
you must take, inform your host at the very beginning of the meal,
and always excuse yourself from the table to use electronics. She
declared that these rules are applicable for executives, too, who
are often the worst offenders when it comes to using devices at a
table. "If you want the best and brightest, how do you think they
feel when you take a call in the middle of an interview? If it came
down to you and someone who paid attention to them throughout the
entire interview, you might lose out."
Furthermore, Cole implored the audience to use the luncheon as an
opportunity to examine our greater societal relationship with
electronics and technology: "Are we going to be governed by them or are
they going to support our lives?" she asked.
- Show, don't tell. Verbal communication is important, but
the most lasting way your value is communicated to a potential
employer or boss is through your behavior. So rather than bragging
about all your accomplishments or giving a resuscitation of your
resume, Cole encouraged the attendees to ask questions about their
host or find ways to talk about your experience that fit with the
flow of conversation. "Show that you pay attention: What experiences
do you bring to that moment that are fresh, creative, energetic,
professional and appropriate for the moment, for the future and for
who you're talking to?"
Above all the specific rules and practices of good table etiquette,
Cole stressed that more than anything, you should be at ease, pay
attention and go with the flow. "Being a worthwhile contributor is
important, and knowing the rules is important, but the well-rounded
person becomes the winner," she affirmed. Always pay attention to your
host, and follow his or her cues, and be mindful that your host may not
be adept in the situation. "Never draw attention to your host-or anyone
else's-shortcomings," she stressed, adding that you should also
acknowledge and be considerate of the wait staff, who have an often
overlooked/undervalued but incredibly important role in shaping your
interviewing experience. "They are there to help you, so be kind to your
severs," she added.
"People often ask, 'Why is etiquette important?' There are practical
reasons for many of these rules of etiquette, but mainly, you want to
know what is expected of you where you're headed," Cole summarizes. "You
also want to ask, "What are my values, and how can they match up with
what the rules of engagement are so that I can stand with integrity, be
myself and be appropriate. When you do this, you win-you have an
opportunity to soar: When you don't know, you fell uncomfortable. I am
very pleased to know that NABA values skills such as dining well,
dressing for success and carrying your body as a winner. I was very
impressed by the history, legacy and vibrancy of the organization, and I
was very pleased to be able to offer my services."
"Students should not be intimidated to learn these rules of etiquette,
because often, professionals-people who have been in the working world
for many, many years-aren't always clear, or don't know themselves,"
says Challenge M. Okiwe, NABA Interim Deputy Executive Director. "Events
such as ours give everyone a chance to learn, refresh and/or brush up on
their skills, and it's important to practice dining etiquette and
incorporate it into your everyday life so it becomes second-nature."
Gwen Skillern, CPA, Elected President of
National Association of Black Accountants
NABA, Inc. is one of the premier professional organizations in
the nation. NABA represents the interests of more than 100,000
people of color in furtherance of their educational, professional,
and career goals in the related fields of accounting, consulting,
finance and information technology. For more information, visit
www.nabainc.org
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