|
|
 |
Macho, with Syrup: Valentine's Day in the Philippines
In the Philippines, a heady mix of Catholicism and Hollywood schlock
reaches its culmination on Valentine's Day
By Steven Knipp, Pacific News Service
MANILA - Feb. 7, 2005 - Have you ever wondered what the world would
be like if teenage boys ran it? And if every day was Valentine's
Day? Spend a little time in the Philippines and you'll have your answer.
This island-nation's enduring love for double-dosed syrupy machismo
romance can be blamed on its two colonizers -- Spain and America.
"Discovered" by the Spanish explorer Ferdinand Magellan, the Islands
were colonized by Spain in 1565, and ruled for 333 years in almost equal
parts by the Spanish Crown and tens of thousands of Spanish padres sent
by the Catholic Church. Today, 85 percent of the islands' near-90
million people are Roman Catholic. Yet there is a solid patina of
Americanism that is somehow both appealing and appalling.
The effect of having lived under two such diverse foreign powers has
been described as "three centuries in a convent, followed by 50 years in
Hollywood." It has put Filipinos in an uncomfortable cultural
quandary from which they have yet to emerge.
After all, this is a land where women in their 60s have nicknames like
Bambi and Baby. And where middle-aged men still wear their hair in
well-oiled Elvis Presley-styled pompadours and sport immense iron
belt-buckles in the shape of rearing stallions.
The first question Manila taxi drivers often ask a male passenger is how
many children he has. It's a sign of manhood here. No matter the answer,
the driver won't be impressed, as he himself will often be the proud
father of eight. Passing one of Manila's churches, drivers routinely let
go of the steering wheel to bless themselves. Then, at the next traffic
light, they'll hand out discount coupons to the city's love hotels,
offering short-time accommodations for "Afternoon Delights." As Manila's
beloved former bishop, Cardinal Sin (yes, that's his name) used to say,
"Hate the sin, but love the sinner."
The importance of being macho in Manila could be blamed on either
American or Iberian influences, but it pervades all walks of life, from
politics to the country's booming movie business. Filipino films are
often violent tales of macho revenge, or steamy love stories involving
much flashing of breasts and thrashing of thighs. And the accompanying
film reviews seem to be written by sweaty teenage boys. Reads one: "The
cameraman has no mercy at all. While she is crouched on the ground, the
camera lurks in the shadows, caresses her crotch, then her derrière, and
focuses on you-know-where, and stays there, and wouldn't let go."
The most macho men in the Philippines are said to be in the armed
forces, perhaps best symbolized by former Col. Gregorio "Gringo" Honasan.
The swaggering soldier played key roles in several failed comic opera
coups in the 1980s, including one in which his men holed up in the
stately Manila Hotel before fleeing down a back stairway when room
service was cruelly cut off. Honasan, who took inordinate pride in his
ability to grow a moustache, once posted a sign on his barracks door. It
read: "My wife yes, my dog maybe, but my gun never." He went on to
become an equally dismal politician.
The flip side of all this hairy-chested machismos is that Filipino women
are placed on the type of cultural pedestals that have all but
disappeared elsewhere. Beauty pageants, passé elsewhere, are still the
rage in the Philippines; they number in the thousands annually and are
interwoven into the country's cultural fabric. There are national,
regional, island-wide and village competitions. There is a Miss Mango
Queen, a Pineapple Princess, a Miss San Miguel Beer, a Miss Eco-Tourism,
a Miss Caltex Oil...
Naturally, the highlight of every Filipino male's calendar is
Valentine's Day, which is taken very seriously. In the 1980s, the
planning of a coup against the Aquino government in February was set
aside when it was suddenly remembered that public support for the rebels
would not be forthcoming if they ruined the mood at Valentine's Day. And
every year, newspapers propose that Feb. 14 be used as a day to issue
prison pardons.
The festival starts on the first of February, when red bunting and paper
Cupids make their first gooey appearance in department stores, girly
bars, and on church doors. For a full fortnight, radio stations across
the archipelago play nothing but love songs. Ever wonder were all those
corny love songs go after they fall from the American pop charts?
They're all still perennial sellers in the Philippines.
The shelves of music stores in the islands are piled high with
"Golden-Oldie" heart breakers from the 1950s and 1960s. Delicately
dusted each morning by storeowners armed with chicken-feather dusters
are cassettes of old crooners like Matt Monroe ("From Russia With Love")
or long-defunct pop groups like the Drifters ("Save the Last Dance for
Me").
The very personification of Valentine's Day may be long gone, but Elvis
impersonators thrive. The Philippines is said to be home to more than
2,700 professional Elvis impersonators. Perhaps the most famous is a
talented midget known as "Egoy the Playboy," a part-time accountant who
markets himself as the "Pint-sized Presley with the King-sized talent."
Egoy's most common requests: "Jail House Rock" and "Rock of Ages."
PNS contributor Steven Knipp is the Washington,
D.C., correspondent for the South China Morning Post. |
